To dismiss Trump’s comments as “guy talk” is an insult to good men and boys. This is what rape culture looks & sounds like.
By now many of you have probably heard the tape or read the transcript of the conversation between Donald Trump and Billy Bush. Some people are dismissing it as "guy talk" and "locker room banter." Let's be clear: Calling this "guy talk" is an insult to all of the good men and boys out there. This is what rape culture looks like and sounds like. And Billy Bush's laughing along is also what rape culture looks like. I was raised by a republican and a democrat. This is NOT about politics. There are millions of good men who would never demean women and girls like this.
I woke up this morning looking for someone to blame. Someone to hate. Someone who I could make the single target of my fear about the officers killed in Dallas and the killing of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. It was such a desperate feeling to want to discharge the uncertainty and scarcity. Then it dawned on me that this is the exact drive that fueled what's happening right now. Instead of feeling hurt we act out our hurt. Rather than acknowledging our pain, we inflict it on others. Neither hate nor blame will lead to the justice and peace that we all want - it will only move us further apart. But we can't forget that hate and blame are seductive. Anger is easier than grief. Blame is easier than real accountability. When we choose instant relief in the form of rage, we're in many ways choosing permanent grief for the world.
Hate is a symptom. Fear is the problem. We are a country outside of our integrity. We are brave people who have given into fear.